Honest Trailers: The Lion King One and a Half
by 94hearts
Summary: The final installation is here. Prepare for the sequel that no one asked for...


**Author's Note:  
Here is it, the completion to my Honest Trailers trilogy for **_**The Lion King**_**.  
No mercy.  
Please R &amp; R.**

Prepare… for a not-thrilling, adventure of a lifetime... that absolutely no one asked for.

A movie so bizarre and complex…

…Where even the titles confuses fans.

The Lion King 1 1/2  
(OrTheLionKing3:HakunaMatatadependingonwhatcountryyou'refrom).

The movie that proves that if you strive to be loud and obnoxious enough, you could wind up with your own movie.

Because having your own TV show, and being on 90% of _The Lion King_'s merchandise apparently isn't good enough.

Watch Disney take a massive dump on one of your most beloved childhood trilogies, with the sequel/prequel that you never cared to know about.

Starring everybody's favorite Mamma's Boy gopher with a Bronx accent and pig from the first _Lion King_ movie, who are responsible for getting that stupid catchphrase song in your head.

When Meerkat Manor Reject realizes that he's a disgrace to his entire colony, he embarks on a journey away from home to find a new home… where he'll meet a pig with a digestive problem.

Together, these two comrades will introduce you to a brand new, ludicrous storyline, other than the one that you're used to, _just_ for the sake of seeing how far they can push the envelope in low brow humor.

And where they'll sing a boatload of new songs that you really rather sell your own left foot for in order for them to stop singing.

_("Diggah Tunnah! Dig! Dig-gah tunnah! Quick before the hyena cooooome!" "That's all I NEEEEEEEEEEED! I've always been good at runnin' away! But now I'm gonna run da show-whoa!")_

And they'll drive you up the wall by…

…talking through the entire movie.

(_"WHAAAAAAAAAT'S ON THE MENUUUUUUUUUU?" "Uh, Timon… what're you doin'?" "I'm fast-forwarding to the part where we come in!" "But you can't go out of order!"_)

Heh-heh. Okay, guys, this narration's a little unnecessary.

(_"Pumbaa, how can a rock be proud? It's a rock." "Well, I think it's because a pride is what they call a group of lions!" "Oh, sure, the lions get Pride Rock. And what about us meerkats? Where I come from, we didn't have nothin' to be proud of! Why… when I was a young meeerkaaat!"_)

Uh… seriously, guys, we kind of understand the plot without the narration.

_(Cue Timon and Pumbaa screaming off of a waterfall).  
*Click*  
("Mind if I pause it for a second?")_

Guys, seriously, SHUT UP!

Wait, why are they using a _remote_ to rewind what's on a _theater screen?_ And why is the film making VCR tape noises?

AHAHAHA!  
I'm sorry, I'm sorry, it's just… what is this, 1994?

Waste an hour and thirty minutes of your life watching these two do things, like…

Become gluttons.

_(Cue Simba and Timon slurping snails)._

Make random film references.

(_"The problem with a couple of wacky kids like us don't amount to a hill of termites in this nutty, Circle of Life thing." "I love the smell of Pumbaa in the morning." "I see carnivores…!"_)

and…

Riverdance?

_(Cue Timon and Pumbaa riverdancing out of frame)_

STARRING…!

A Ham. A Really, Really _Big_ Ham! (Timon)

Flatulence (Pumbaa)

Marge Simpson (Ma)

Another Jerk Uncle (Uncle Max)

Home Improvement Kid (Simba)

Whoopi Goldberg (Shenzi)

Cheech No Chong (Banzai)

Spaz! (Ed)

I'm Only Here to Explain the Plotpoints (Nala)

The Entire Cast of Meerkat Manor (The Meerkat Colony)

and…

Fart Jokes

_(Cue cave explosion, cue the animals at Simba's ceremony passing out, cue Simba and Timon looking at each other, and then jumping out of the Jacuzzi)._

Timon's Backstory! Er, uh I mean…

The Lion King 11/2

Wait, shouldn't it be The Lion King 1/2? Or half of The Lion King? Having the full one means that it sort of happened after the first movie. Why not just give it a subtitle and not make it so confusing?

Oh, yeah, I forgot. The title is supposed to be funny.

Supposed to be.

**Thanks for watching! And be sure to Subscribe to hear other things in my awesome trailer voice!**

**So, it's finished! My **_**Lion King**_** Honest Trailers trilogy. It's been fun. Which one was your favorite? Please leave a Review. :)**


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